Killed By An Idiot And Its Son

The audience murmured in susurrations of anticipation; as if they were afraid to be perceived

as less than reverential. There were representations at the press conference from the science

class, a military group from disparate nations and alliances, some politicos, and of course

representatives of the press, who were trying to blend in with their hawk nosed piercing eyes and

aura of alcoholic splendor. Alen Berg of the San Francisco Newspaper Barons Panel discovered

he was sitting beside Trunco Butto of the giant Italian car manufacturing company, Feet,

`Wassup? Butto turned to examine his interlocutor with Latin blue mirrored shades, `The death

of the Earth apparently.` Butto crinkled his nose. Not the usual pollution by car exhaust fumes

destroying the atmosphere letting harmful radiation through to fry the brains of the public so that

they stagger around blind and sick until they collapse from paralysis and loss of vision centers,

but something like that. I`m here to represent my car company, Feet, which has been accused of

using up all of the Earth`s resources on occasion so that the giant that was Man is reduced to a

butthole for the insertion of petrol to fuel the incinerator while Man travels about inside looking

out of his now incinerated giant`s toe nail.` Alen was quick to see the joke. `Yes, it`s a self-drawn

picture by an ogre that`s eating itself.` He chuckled. `In science fiction there are `bug-eyed

monsters` that invade the Earth and steal the bodies of the people in demoniacal possession so

that the alien can exterminate the human race. Obviously, the car is a one-eyed ogre

corresponding to the BEMs of scifi.` `Yes,` Butto replied, fuelled by Bemzedrine.` Butto

laughed, `But don`t tell it to anyone from my company; but me.` Butto winked conspiratorially,

`They wouldn`t think it`s funny to lose money.`

                                                                                *

Here was to be the first scientific description of the New Program for the Saving of the Earth.

The speakers ascended the platform and began to assemble their papers before the podiums

prepared for them to deliver the Ineffable Message (IM) reputedly gleaned from two thousand

years of scholarship applied to the solving of the mysteries of the Bible. There were three persons

on the stage behind their respective podiums. The one in the center waved cheerfully in the

direction of Alen and Butto, `It`s good to have the representative of the Italian car giant, Feet,

with us today, Trunco Butto!` A smattering of applause from the Earth`s delegations. Butto

remained seating, but beamed his smile outwardly at everything; as if he were a beacon of

magnanimity and sanctity to whom ships could safely be steered in hope of a harbor. `I think it

ought to be clear from the outset here that the giant Feet won`t be made a target here. Everyone, I

think, knows how the Earth`s Council disapproves of Feet and its fellow car manufactories

across the globe. Reducing Man to a petrol bumb in charge of its big toe while the fuel

companies rake in the cash over the cremated remains is the least image I can recall from the

newspaper cartoonists reaction to our last get together on the subject of how environmentally

secure the Earth is from `bug-eyed monsters` taking over our bodies to surreptitiously make our

species extinct.` No one laughed.

The person at the far podium from where Alen and Butto were sitting on the right of the

auditorium began to show signs of animation highlighted by the dimming of the lighting that

illuminated the speaker in the center and now had grown brighter to indicate that the figure at the

far end of the theater stage was about to hold forth. `Biblical scholars have explained that Adam

was a woman. The creation of Eve from the rib of Adam by the creator, God, is a euphemism for

self-fertilization and birth by a woman whose race is called futanarian.` The speaker paused for

emphasis. `In the Bible Eve is told by God that her `seed` will be redeemed, because she`s a self-fertilizing

species with her own penis` semen. In Christian iconography Jesus` mother, the Virgin

Mary, is depicted as crushing the head of the serpent, Satan, with her foot, because it`s a symbol

of how women`s futanarian sexual reproduction of human brainpower to defeat evil will redeem

Man.` The light at the far end dimmed and the illumination nearest where Alen and Butto were

sitting grew brightest. The spokesperson turned to the screen behind the podiums where moving

pictures could now be seen. `Here are images of futanarian sexual intercourse.`

                                                                                *

The figures on the podium were beginning to wind up their presentation. The films were still

being shown on the screen behind the trio and the invited gathering seemed to be in some state of

shock. In a last display of razzmatazz the three speaking parts began to feign telepathic rapport

and divided the speech between themselves seamlessly so that it gave the impression of the

Earth`s Council members speaking as if with a single unified voice.

The speaker nearest commenced, `Jesus was taken to the hill of Calvary by the Romans for

advocating sexual freedom for women unfettered by male subjugation: Love your neighbor as

you love yourself. Mark twelve thirty-one.` The speaker in the center continued, `Nailed to a

cross of wood where he was left to die as a `dissident` against the male brained Empire of Rome

for war against Man, Jesus experienced Resurrection and Ascension to heaven.` The third

speaker opened up, `Jesus` ascent to heaven symbolized Man`s escape from the evil upon the

Earth through that brainpower needed to build starships to colonize the planets amongst the stars

of heaven above.` The lights on the podiums went out and the images being displayed on the

screen at the back of the theater became easier to see. In a series of vignettes Judas is depicted

watching a woman anointing Jesus` feet with oil. Jesus` demurs when Judas says, `The perfume

is too expensive. Sell it and we`ll have money.` Judas is seen taking `thirty pieces of silver` from

the Jewish religious police, the Pharisees, who give Jesus over to the Romans. We see Jesus

being nailed to the cross. Judas is in the crowd, `I don`t want his species to reproduce brainpower

and escape slavery in death.` The screen goes blank. The lights in the auditoium come on. There

are no figures at the podiums. It`s over.

                                                                              *

 Trunco Butto became more Italiano and mafioso in his relaxed style with Alen as they

meandered from the arena, `Waddya tink Olfie?` Alen is ready with his reply, which is almost

instant, `I think the Earth`s been killed by an idiot and its son. In ancient Greece, which was held

to be the model of democracy, women`s host wombs were slaved in institutionalized

homosexuality in pederasty for war against Man, but without `woman`s seed` there isn`t any

Man, that is, what we`ve been taught to think of as women are Man. We`re the BEMs.` Butto

crinkled his nose, `Yes, it was when that scientist explained that at some distant point in the past

the Earth had been visited by an alien virus that had somehow inveigled itself into the host womb

of the species to steal its semen and replicate itself as the exterminator of the race that I

understood it plainly.` Alen nodded his agreement, and the two men emerged into the afternoon

sunshine outside the building where the presentation on Earth Security had been given by the

Council Members, `Yes, when that parasitologist explained that the parasite that emerges from

the host to kill it is termed `parasitoid`, I got the message.` Butto giggled. `We`re bugs.` `Yes,`

Alen affirmed, `which is why the late 20th century `incurable killer disease`, that is, HIV/AIDS,

spread by homosexuals` mixing blood, shit and semen in each others` anuses in mockery of the

sexual reproduction of the brains` powers kept Man in fearful faithfulness to her parasitoid ring

slaver.` Butto blinked, and as if by mutual consent they wandered through the park at the other

side of the road opposite the building from whence they`d emerged and on by means of the path

amid the verdancy towards Joke`s Cafe, `You think that we`re possessed by an alien mind?`

`Alen swallowed with an obvious exertion of will against that which wanted to prevent his next

utterance, `I don`t think that Man peering through his own toenail while he steers his own

personal incinerator around the streets of his local crematorium is going anywhere fast.

` Butto looked gloomy, `One small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.` Alen smiled

humorlessly, `Yes, Neil Armstrong`s words on becoming the first to set foot on Earth`s planetary

satellite, the moon, on July 21, 1969, UTC: 2. 56, but that was before President Ray Gun`s `star

wars` based on the movie featuring the `Death Star` of the evil Empire imprisoning the people of

the planet it orbited in order to kill them.`

                                                                                 *

The pair are now seated within the environs of the nearby coffee bar. Alen is sipping his

cappuccino but seems alarmed and agitated now, `You mean ...?` Butto gave him an assertive

glance, `Yes, beneath the suns of Ray Gun will be their idiot children, who`re the killers of Man

upon the Earth.` Butto guffawed. `So? The aliens will win, and we can`t escape. Well, I`ll be

buggered.` Butto eyebrows rose as he drank from his espresso. Putting the cup back into its

saucer, his expression evinced the surprise and amazement that his words merited. `Yes,` said

Alen Berg, `it`s their plan. Having smoked the women`s penis they`re after the `remnant`. I can

quote from the Bible too. `The dragon was wroth with the woman and went to make war on the

remnant of her seed. Revelation twelve seventeen.` Butto flicked down the butt of his cigarette to

where he crushed it with a toe. `The cigarette is a secret symbol of the penis smoked by the

serpent, Satan, grown into a dragon waging war against Man,` Alfie mused, `and eventually we`ll

all be butts for the homosexuals` joke.` Alfie`s ears wiggled remorsefully, `That`s about the size

if it, Butto.` `What I don`t understand,` Butto frowned, `is the role of the serpent, Satan. Who

was he?` Alfie gleamed mirthlessly, `A personification of the viral form. According to science

life originated on the Earth when a virus landed here from space. The Mesozoic period was 248

million years ago before the first hominids began to appear in the Jurassic period around 220

million years ago. The Bible says angels were winged and Satan was fallen, which suggests an

earlier evolution in which the angels, who`re still in heaven with God, apart from those who fell

with Satan, were winged saurians. Consequently, Satan`s conversations with Eve and Adam were

a negotiation whereby the hominids were persuaded by the saurians that had succumbed to the

virus that had degenerated their species to accept the contaminated semen of the prehistoric

reptile, that is, `the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil`, according to the Bible,

which conferred ephemerality in slavery to death for Eve`s descendants in exchange for the use

of subsequent generations of humans as brainless puppets, who`d wage war in conquest against

Man on behalf of the `serpent`s seed` as entertainment for an alien parasitoid devourer, `You

shall be as gods. Genesis three five.`` After motioning the waitress over and thanking her

effusively for the service she provided, Butto stirred his second cup of espresso thoughtfully

while `Set The Controls For The Heart Of The Sun` from the 1968 album, A Saucerful Of

Secrets, by the rock musicians, Pink Floyd, played in the background: `One inch of love is one

inch of shadow ...` Alfie sipped from his second cappuccino, `That`s a saucerful of cigarette

butts you`re amassing there,` said Alfie joshingly. `Yes, but..,` said Butto, `to cut it right out is

now my own personal goal in the face of the alien menace to the Earth` `Aw, cut it out,` said

Alfie, `stop making me the butt of an alien`s secret jo!`


Robin Bright 'Killed By An Idiot And Its Son' in Charles Rector (ed.) Fornax # 15, February, 2017, http://efanzines.com/Fornax/Fornax-15.pdf .